Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption - Book Review

"Already Home" is the exceptional story of Howard Frederick Ibach's intricate 9-month journey to uncover his biological roots. It unfolds like a twisty, unpredictable mystery novel, with Ibach the unwavering sleuth.  Not driven by discontent with his adoptive parents – whom he cherished deeply – his pursuit was ignited by recent legislative modifications that unsealed adoption records, offering tantalizing clues about his origins. The newfound possibility of delving into his lineage beckoned him, evoking an insatiable curiosity that inexorably drew him back into his own history. 

Growing up as Howard Frederick Ibach, the first of four children (with the two eldest being adopted), he recalled his life with his adopted parents in Bayside, Wisconsin, as a happy and an idyllic childhood. The happiness and the successes he experienced in his life never triggered the urge to search for his birth parents. It wasn't until he was 57 years old, living in Los Angeles that he encountered a book titled "The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child" by psychotherapist and adoption specialist Nancy Newton Verrier that awoke his interest in knowing more about his birth parents. One thing that he rejected was Verrier's assessment that all adopted children were damaged and victims of trauma. He did not feel that being adopted had caused him any emotional damage. 

When Howard's 9-month family history odyssey began, he uncovered a poignant revelation: his mother, whose name was Irene. Grieving the loss of her husband, she found solace in the arms of a close friend of her late spouse. Their interaction crossed a boundary, resulting in an unexpected pregnancy. This event unfolded during a time in America when single parenthood, especially for unwed mothers, was deemed scandalous in the conservative atmosphere of the fifties. It was pretty standard in the fifties for a mother to either place her child up for adoption or relocate to a place where her identity was unknown in order to have the baby, alleging that the father had passed away. You will find that the back story of how her husband died is very interesting.

Howard's investigation spans the nation as he uncovers his roots, stumbling upon lost siblings and connections that eluded him. The narrative is utterly fascinating, with a captivating writing style that entertained me thoroughly. Howard's tale doesn't beg for sympathy or unveil damaging secrets that could shatter lives, nor offer any dramatic revelations to console other troubled adopted individuals. Instead, it's Howard's uniquely personal journey, his discovered back story narrated in a compelling manner that impels you to keep reading. The prologue, in particular, is a gem that draws you in, setting the stage for the rest of his captivating story.